The Forgiving Twilight

I was walking into the parking lot from work the other day, in that diffused light after the sun has gone down but the sky is still light.... and I looked at my car as I approached it. "Wow." I thought - "My car sure looks shiny and new!" Anyone noticing it as I did at that moment would think I had a fine, new automobile.

Right after thinking this, however, I reminded myself about the rust spots around the tire wells, the dent in the back right fender where I backed into another car a couple of years ago (my one and only accident), the scratches on the trunk, the chips in the paint, and the outdated, basic interior in need of a good vacuuming, that clearly marks my car as almost a decade old.

How interesting, I thought, that with a the dimness of twilight, the flaws were hidden and the positives accentuated. 

I've thought about at times over the past few days in relation to life. My life.

I've noticed, for instance, that the most flattering photos of people are in this type of lighting, where the imperfections are covered by a softening around the edges, or a focus on the most striking features.

Also, I've thought that time has a way of acting upon the events in our lives with a "twilight" effect. The shock of tragedy or disappointment wears from a sharp pain to a manageable ache that allows us to go about our daily tasks and responsibilities without being completely emotionally bereft.

We look back on experiences we've had and tend to remember more of the good and less of the bad.

I've witnessed this phenomenon in relationships, too. Although it can definitely go the other way, where people we are in a relationship with are in the bright sun of noonday and we seem to notice every flaw, the best relationships are those with people we come to know and love who are in that "twilight" of our mind's eye. We see the beauty of the whole person, and don't even notice the blemishes that are there (we all have them).

I know that there are many of my friends, family members, colleagues and students who see me in a twilight view. I know this because they seem to think I am all "shiny and new" when I feel like an old beat-up ghetto car that can barely pass inspection. I am grateful for these people, for reminding me that I am more than my imperfections. That I can rise above my failings and be who they imagine me to be.

My sister has cancer. The shockingly vivid and tragic truth was confirmed three weeks ago. Many tests have revealed a prognosis that is positive, though, and since then, time has softened the blow (at least to me - I'm not sure about for her). There is a plan of action and we are all in it for the long haul. So the calming influence of time is a mercy to us as we deal with what life hands us. The ugly details fade a little and we appreciate the preciousness of the good things in life.