We live in a technology-bound world which now includes many sites where you can meet singles. Set up your profile, type in a few criteria, and hundreds of pictures of men (if you are a woman like me), with a few paragraphs (or sentences) to sum up their lives, appear. There is this whole cyper-world out there that allows those of us who never meet single men in our real lives to feel like there are still a few good ones out there. And it gives us a non-threatening way to do some "shopping" (come on, that's all is really is).
I have recently re-entered this crazy world, and, I gotta tell you, it is somewhat strange. But desperation once again forced me to "do what I can" to meet some guys to go out with. I approach this with a grain of salt, tongue-in-cheek, and not a little humor at the situation I find myself in. I think some people take this online dating thing waaay too seriously. Maybe I should "shop" according to my 10 -year-old niece's advice for my search criteria - "make sure you choose someone who doesn't drink". Certainly that would widen the field for me. (:
In my perusing of men's profiles, I have come across some very....shall we say.... interesting.... ones. Through my experience of wading through these, I have created a list of "Don'ts" for anyone who is contemplating writing a profile of their own (esp. men because those are the ones I see, although I'm sure women online say and do some dumb things, too). All of my "Don'ts" on the list come from actual profiles.
For those of you who have done the online dating thing before, I hope you enjoy the memories (and I invite you to cringe along with me). And for those of you who haven't had to venture into these shark-infested waters, count your many blessings.
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| These all deserve raspberries! |
1. Don't post a picture of you from 5 or more years ago! Yes, maybe you looked great on your mission, or at your sister's wedding - but honey, I want to see what you look like now. And, besides, when we meet in person, the jig is up anyway...
2. Don't go on a bitter tirade about everything you hate about online dating, women - or really, about ANYTHING. Such a turn off. And, besides, if you hate online dating and women so much - what are you freakin' doing posting a profile on one?!!
3. Don't post pictures of yourself without a shirt on unless you want to let everyone in on your vain personality. Then I guess it's OK. At least we all know about it up front.
4. If you are old enough to be a woman's father or grandfather, or you look old enough to be, for goodness sake, don't send her "flirt messages"!
5. Don't tell all the negative sordid details of your life and/or personality in the "About me" section.
6. Don't create a user name that has anything to do with your ex-wife or how long ago your marriage ended. (ie: "shedumpedme3yrsago" or "ihatemyex")
7. Don't take a self-portrait of your face from a low angle to post as your main picture. Little tip - no one looks good from that angle! (Oh, yes, and ixnay on the picture of you in a mirror - tacky.) You've got to know at least ONE person who can take a flattering picture of you!
8. In the "About Me" section, don't go on and on.... and on... about what you are looking for in a woman/wife. You are 43 and have never been married - get rid of "The List"!
9. Don't post a picture of yourself with other women. And cutting out the woman with Photoshop is just tacky when everyone can see you have your arm around someone and her hair is still in the shot ....
10. Don't tell everything about you and all the ways you are going to make a woman happy. Less is better - let a woman go out with you and figure some things out on her own. Chances are, you tell her how perfect you are going to be and how you are going to treat her like a queen and her expectations will be so high you'll never measure up in person.
1 comment:
good one!
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