Still Sixteen

I have a secret. There is a sixteen-year-old inside of me. She IS me - a big part of me. I have her insecurities and immaturity - I wish I had her energy. This is her:

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel like "a grown-up". Sure, I can act like a grown-up. I can take care of nieces and nephews and be responsible for keeping 30 elementary school aged kids in line and safe all day long. I can play the part of a relief society president or sunday school teacher. I may even look like a grownup most of the time. But it's all an act.

My current church calling, a Young Women leader, is one of the most difficult church callings I've ever had. I'm supposed to be the leader, but I feel like one of the girls. I'm supposed to set a good example and hang out with their moms, but I have nothing in common with their moms. I watch the same TV shows the girls watch, wear the same kinds of clothes, and still talk about dating and cute "boys". I giggle with my friends and go to midnight shows the opening day of a movie I am excited for. I am caught between two worlds - the world of adults and the world of teenagers. And I guess I don't really feel like I fit into either one. I am still trying to find out how to relate to the sixteen and seventeen year olds without blowing my "cover"as an adult. I wonder if I will ever feel or act my age?